20 Ways to Start Dealing with Your Limiting Self-Beliefs
July 31, 2018
Secret: I still struggle with a lot of insecurity. It stems from I guess, my childhood and early career. But, I've found some ways to handle it. Here're 20.
We're our own worst enemies. Well, I'm my own worst enemy, anyway.
The thing is, that's really easy to say and shrug off – it's something that your parents say to you with a chuckle and it's something that we have a laugh at together.
And that's ok.
But it's still true.
You should actually start to take it seriously, because in the pursuit of breaking out of your lifestyle prison; in the pursuit of changing gears and seeking fulfilment from something new in your entrepreneurial careers, your own limiting self-beliefs can be some of the most destructive forces to affect you, often keeping you from making the moves that you need to make and keeping you tethered to the past – or even fearful of leaving the present.
Last month I talked about the need to fix yourself emotionally, physically and mentally before even considering undertaking a new entrepreneurial challenge.
Because breaking out of the lifestyle prison that you've built for yourself is not going to always be easy.
Thanks to that, we all have to equip ourselves with the confidence to push through, to keep moving one step at a time when things get tough.
Sounds like a business book doesn't it? I know, I wrote it.
That's why this post has nothing to do with inspiration or motivation, I'm not going to tell you that it's hard but “you got this” and I'm not going to tell you stories of people who have succeeded in fixing their own limiting self-beliefs and who have gone on to become world-beating successes.
Instead, I'm going to give you twenty simple things to do to expand your horizons, twenty things that I've actually done over the last couple of years to break through some of my own limiting beliefs which led to me breaking out of my own lifestyle prison in 2017.
I'm discussing each one of these limiting self-beliefs on my podcast, too in detail.
20 Ways to Start Dealing with Your Limiting Self-Beliefs
- Realise that you ARE limited. You don't have all of the answers, hell you don't even have all of the questions!
- Face your insecurities. Make a BIG list of them! This is uncomfortable, but I first did this a couple years ago and let me tell you – it was like turning the light on in a dark, scary room – there's nothing there to worry about!
- Look at how far you've come! Seriously, you've achieved SO much more than you think, either personally, professionally or both – sit back and take stock of those by making another list of these things right next to the list of insecurities – how has someone who believes themselves to be inadequate, achieved so much?!
- Listen to what people tell you. I don't do compliments, not the receipt of them, anyway. But people are being genuine when they compliment you, don't let self-esteem deflect the great things people are saying about you – listen and believe!
- Map out your goals clearly for the next ten years. I actually did this yesterday. I made very specific end of this year and two-year goals, then broader ‘lifestyle' goals for five and ten years time. Why? Because limiting self-beliefs can keep you trapped in the present!
- Let the past go. This is something I struggle with a LOT. I'm the one who analyses my past mistakes and broods on them. My self-beliefs become more and more limited the more I do this. Why? Because by doing this, I'm not accepting that I've learned and moved on – so move on!
- Write a commitment manifesto. Grab a piece of A4 paper and write at the top: “In order to achieve my life goals, I must commit to:” and then list the commitments you must make. They could range from “Maintaining a healthy mind.” to “Only doing work that makes an impact in my business.” to “Getting 10k steps in every single day to keep my body healthy.“
- Keep a basic progress log. Aiming to hit your end of this year and two year goals requires daily action starting NOW. By tracking basic progress every day, from fitness goals (just get those 10k steps in!) to business goals (just one more sale today) you'll be amazed at how quickly those goals become a reality.
- Note your struggles and plan to overcome them. Each week, make a note of something that you're dreading doing, or several things. Make these things that you have to do. for example, take that difficult phone call, have that difficult conversation, etc. The moment you complete each task, write down exactly how it went and how you felt afterwards – guess what, it won't nearly be as bad as you think, I guarantee it!
- Don't be afraid to ask for help. One of the biggest limiting self-beliefs, in my opinion, is that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It is quite literally the opposite – knowing where you shine and where you need a hand is a HUGE strength and asking for help only shows how mindful and present you are, so ask for it when you need it!
- Take a week off to do something you've dreamed of. This doesn't need to be a big thing, not at all. In fact, it may just be taking a week off to explore your local area, the places that we take for granted. why? Simple: one of the limiting self-beliefs is that the world depends on us and so, we can't possibly have a week off! Wrong…
- Finally, start that hobby. I'm a huge fan of switching metal gears to boost your creativity, but the same holds true for breaking down your limiting self-beliefs. Always been told you have no rhythm? Fuck that, book a drumming lesson!
- Begin to break a boundary. I was always told by friends that I just didn't have the ‘build or metabolism' to build muscle and that caused me to actually believe it, for the longest time! Guess what, they were wrong! What boundaries has the world put up around you, and how can you start to break one today?
- Plan the perfect day. Working today? Me too! One of my own personal limiting self-beliefs used to be that I had to do everything in my business, that's simply not true – some things other people can do, some things simply don't need doing. So instead, spend just ONE day doing the work you love – a full 7 hours of it – nothing else! What happens? Well, I won't tell you, but take note of how you feel afterwards…
- Make an uncomfortable change in your personal life. Ok, don't go out and burn all of your bridges, but spend some time identifying something that is holding you back in your personal life – for me it was recently a routine that I'd fallen into that wasn't helping me – and change it. Will it be uncomfortable? Sure, but will it help? Damn right.
- Make things right. We've all got regrets. But many of them we can start to fix by simply reaching out to someone who we haven't spoken to in a while and extending an olive branch. Your limiting self-belief, the one that says “It was your fault” will also dissipate and you can start to get on with your life!
- Record SOMETHING. I tell everyone this. One of the biggest confidence boosters you can take is simply getting over the fact that you're going to initially hate hearing or seeing yourself recorded. But the belief that you're not good enough to do that, or that you have nothing to say that people want to hear, is going to keep you down. Don't let it – as my friend Brian Fanzo says, press the damn button!
- Ask someone for their opinion. One of my limiting self-beliefs used to be that my ideas sucked, and in both personal and professional capacities that kept me down. Have something to share? Got an idea? Go grab a beer with someone and ask them their opinions on it. It's not market research, it's simply switching on the light as opposed to keeping your idea tucked away in the scary dark place that you never take people to.
- Give someone your opinion. Let me guess, no one wants to hear it? Wrong! Limiting yourself to believe that you have nothing valuable to add to someone else's life is going result in a downward spiral that will end in reclusiveness – that's exactly the wrong thing to do. Get involved, have an opinion and give people feedback because they WILL value it!
- Go one step further. Whatever limiting self-beliefs we have, they all stem from the same place – insecurity. So when we start to crush them, one at a time, we're already going to be uncomfortable. So why not go just ONE step further? Rather than believing you can't run a 5k, why not book in for a 10k? Rather than believing that you can't earn a 6-figure salary, why not double it?!
Most of us limit ourselves in one way or the other. And it's a lifelong struggle to continually battle that.
But honestly, by taking small, simple steps towards overcoming the tiniest of limiting self-beliefs, you'll be astounded by the disproportionately HUGE results that you see.
And remember, the more you expect from yourself, the more you WILL excel!